MacGruber (2010)

I had always wanted to see this film
because it seemed hilarious. In this 2010 comedy Will Forte brings his throat
ripping Saturday Night Live (SNL) character MacGruber by pitting him against
his nemesis (Val Kilmer). MacGruber first retired after from his services as a
soldier when his wife (Maya Rudolph) was killed. But now when his former boss
(Poweers Boothe) finds out that MacGruber’s nemesis has a nuclear weapon in
possession he will call the soldier of fortune for some help along with a new
team (Kristen Wiig and Ryan Phillippe).

This flick is funny from beginning
to finish. Even the action scenes in this movie are comical. Just like the Wayne’s
World series and the classic Blues Brothers this SNL based feature
brings just what the audience wants: lots of great jokes splattered in their
faces so they can laugh so hard they’ll maybe pi in their pants. Now although
the picture is very funny, the jokes in it are very raw so the viewer must have
a lot of sense of humor to watch it or else he or she will not enjoy it. Other
than that the flick is perfectly entertaining and over the top funny.

Rating:
4 stars out of 5.

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A few things about war

In
the battlefield

Paths
are chosen

When
warriors collide

Some
survive and others die

Some
fight for politics

Others
fight for glory

And
others just for money

There’s
always blood

There’s
always pain

There
are many paths to choose

But
some choose to take part in war

They
see the dead

And
comeback with problems

At
least some of them do

Others
see the dead

And
go back to combat

Is
what they prefer to do

Aldo the Puppet Master

I
try to be free, but he has me tied in strings. Aldo is his name, but they call
him The Puppet Master. I have been part of his show for two years now.
Thankfully I am not the main attraction in his act. But my dear friend Angelica
must suffer everyday which, in a way, hurts me as well for she is my girlfriend
and watching her go through this pain hurts me inside. She has been here for a
little over a year. I was trapped under Aldo’s grasp one day when I was alone
in my hands, a group of his minions came destroyed the front door to my house
and they didn’t waste any time trying to hunt me down. They caught me easily
for they had guns filled with sleep serum injections. Angelica on the other
hand was captured one day when she was in the office of a private investigator
called Russell Cera. She had hired him to find me since the police hadn’t found
me yet. The day she was captured was a normal one and everything seemed to be
going like she had planned until Aldo’s minions came to Cera’s office and took
her down easily.

Now
as we try to get out of these strings the Puppet Master sleeps and so do all of
his minions. Twenty minutes have gone by since we started, luckily none of them
have awaken. But we don’t have much time for in a few minutes Aldo will wake up
and begin his daily routine. Please God let us get out safe so we could happily
continue our life together as a couple and hopefully we can get married soon.
We try to take off the strings but they are attached to our backs, so we rip
skin off every time we pull them. Blood drips from our backs as we continue to
move. We try not to yell for our lives are at stake. Angelica is almost free
with just a little push I think she can be completely free. She moans, Aldo
snores and I quickly look at the Puppet Master, luckily he doesn’t wake up. Now
that she is free I tell her to run while I continue to try and break free.
Blood covers the floor as I try to take off the strings and Angelica runs to
find an exit. The Puppet Master wakes up and he looks at me and what I’m trying
to do, I give up with the hopes that my dear Angelica has escaped this devilish
place.

My Hand

Here
it is, my hand

In
it I can see a lot of things

My
past, my present, my future

It
is all there

My
past shows me birth

My
present shows me boredom

My
future shows me rebirth

Here
it is, my hand and in it I see a lot of things

More

As
I look back in life I think

I
should have done more

I
should have read more

I
should have written more

I
should drawn more

Overall
done more

Yes
I did a lot

But
I feel like

I’ve
should have done more

I
should have investigated more

I
should have adventured more

I
should have enjoyed more

Now
that I’m older

I
feel like

I
still need to do more

With
my life do more

Overall
do more

Chains!!!

Chains,
they have me trapped

Mind
blocked I am

Because
my mind has been enchained

Rusty
old iron doesn’t let go of me

Keeping
me tied with old ideas

Ideas
of when I was a child

Ideas
that need some developing

Which
is maybe why these chains don’t let me go

Trapped
in a dark hole from the abyss

Filled
with heroes and villains from unknown dimensions and universes

They
all need some stories and backgrounds

But
I don’t know where to start

Chains
they don’t want to let me go

So
I’m just going to start working on these old ideas

These
ideas fueled by thoughts, dreams and imagination

Will
soon grow to something amazing and inspirational

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Steven Soderbergh’s Schizopolis (1996)

Schizopolis is bizarre but it
is a very artistic comedy worth viewing. This 1996 experimental comedy by
writer/director Steven Soderbergh tells many plots but the main ones in the
entire flick are: the first one which is about Fletcher Munson (played by
Soderbergh) an office employee who is currently working for Theodore Azimuth
Schwitters, leader of self- help philosophy/religion; the second one is about
Dr. Jeffrey Korchek a dentist who seems to be having an affair with Munson’s
wife; and the third and last one is about Elmo Oxygen a local exterminator who
has sex with most of his clients, including Schwitters’s wife, and at the end
of the movie it can be seen that he tries to kill Schwitters.

This 1996 picture is highly
imaginative, philosophical, goofy, fresh, creative and very unexpected. But
even though the flick brings all of this to the table the audience may have a
hard time understanding what the heck is going on in the entire feature.
However it seems that the film was a deep investigation of Soderbergh’s artistic
influences and views. The things that kept me distracted a bit throughout the
movie were the cinematography and sound which were a bit off. Also the vast
variety of sub-plots can be a bit troubling if one is trying to concentrate on
the three main stories that are going within the picture. Overall the feature
is a good film but it can be a bit difficult to understand.

Rating:
3 stars out of 5.

Spy Kids 3-D - Game Over (2003)

This film is certainly the quirkiest
and weakest one of them all. In the third entry of the popular family movie
franchise Spy Kids by Robert Rodriguez retired O.S.S. (Organization of
Super Spies) agent Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara) must come out from retirement and
back into action so he can save his sister Carmen (Alexa Vega) who is trapped
inside a virtual video game created by a villain known only as the Toymaker
(Sylvester Stallone). Inside the game Juni meets other players like Arnold
(Ryan Pinkston), Rez (Roberto Vito) and Francis (Bobby Edner) who will help him
find his sister with a little help from his grandfather (Ricardo Montalban)
too.

Now this film like the other Spy
Kids movies is very imaginative, cartoonish and goofy. But I think this
flick just took it way too far to the point where the feature turned into a
piece of crap. Also another thing, there was no need to put in the picture so
many characters as cameos it just fell like Rodriguez had no more ideas for new
characters, although it is kind of nice to see some popular faces but I think
he could have done it in a better way. Also the story isn’t really that great
like the ones in the previous entries, but then again I think it was all for
children’s appeal and to reflect how popular video games were getting. In a way
it’s sort of a metaphor that children shouldn’t just stay at home playing video
games because they’ll basically get sucked in by them. Overall the picture is a
bit entertaining but it is really weak compared to its predecessor, I really
hope Rodriguez has better ideas for the fourth entry which is going to be out
later this year.

Rating:
1.5 stars out of 5.